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5 Techniques My Student Massage Therapist Should Stop Using November 3, 2008

Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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Because I thought I deserved a break from my high-stress job, I got a massage today.  Well, sort of.  Technically it was a massage, but the relaxing spirit of the massage was missing.

I’m sure that if I would have had the skilled hands of a licenced massage therapist working on my stressed shoulders, I would have been whisked away by the soothing sounds of the pan pipe.

But instead, I had Feather.  Ok, that’s not really her name, but it rhymes with feather.  Feather introduced me to some massage techniques that I hope I never see again.  Without further ado, I give you the 5 techniques my student massage therapist should stop using:

  1. “The Vulcan”  With the victim lying on their back, apply pressure at the top of the jaw just below the ear.  Keep constant pressure down the side of the windpipe until you reach the collarbone.  Increase pressure until you think the collarbone is about to give.
  2. “The girl-crazy test”  I used to get this all the time by well-meaning adults.  Use your thumb and index finger and apply pressure on both sides of the leg just above the kneecap.  Attempt to get your victim to laugh.  (Warning: they might be biting their tongue to resist the urge)
  3. “The kidney pulverizer”  With the victim on their stomach, apply pressure on both sides of their spine starting at the shoulders and moving towards the lower back.  As you get to the end, the victim will have a false sense of relaxation.  At this point, apply as much pressure as possible on the kidneys and rear pelvic bones.
  4. “The indian burn” For this technique, use as little massage oil as possible.  Pull at the skin on the sides and arms of the victim, pulling at the skin with the friction of your non-lubricated hands.
  5. In general, try to find areas of the body that have none or few muscles and “massage” them.  Examples might include the front of the lower leg, the ankle, or the kneecap.

Top 3 Reasons Mitt Romney is NOT a Flip-flopping Phony January 31, 2008

Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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1. His Marriage

    He has been married to only one woman (no polygamy jokes, please), and has been faithful, unlike many of his rivals. A faithful marriage shows that he will be faithful to his principles and to the American people. Speaking of keeping promises…

    2. His 100 promises to Massachusetts voters

      If you believe that Mitt Romney is a phony, a fake, or a flip-flopper, how do you account for this?  When he was running for and became governor of Massachusetts, he asked his staffers to write down all the promises he made on the campaign trail. He then proceeded fulfill each of those 100 promises.  He completed the list by the end of his term.  How many phony politicians would do that?

      3. He’s Frugal

        Despite being so loaded (estimated net worth $250M), Mitt Romney is still frugal. In this world of corporate excesses, Romney is known to sleep at the Hampton Inn, fly coach, and the rule for meals on the road at Bain Capital (his former company) was that they should be “nourishing, but not memorable”.

        In addition he worked as a leader in his church for no pay, gave his Salt Lake Olympics $825,000 salary to charity, gave $1 Million to the Olympics, and pledged to give his presidential salary to charity.

        To be fair, Mitt Romney has changed his positions on several issues. He changed his view on abortion, as have many other leaders such as Ronald Reagan. Romney is hammered for changing his position, yet George W. Bush is constantly scolded for not changing his mind, even after new evidence is presented. Do we want someone that will change when that is the right decision, or sticks to his positions no matter what?

        In conclusion, Mitt Romney could be someone that changes his positions based on what he thinks will win elections, or he could be a sincere person that has changed his mind based on honest assessments of the issues. I think the only way to know if this candidate is sincere is to look at his record, and Mitt Romney’s record doesn’t look like someone that I would call a flip-flopping phony.

        Top 3 Reasons Ginger is so Frickin’ Sweet November 20, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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        Maybe it’s the Thanksgiving season, or maybe it’s the eggnog talking, but I have been feeling grateful for my in-laws. My parents-in-law are in town for the birth of our new baby, and they are a blessing to us in many ways.

        I have been lucky to be associated with great people on Stephanie’s side of the family, and one such person is Ginger. And so, I bring you the top 3 reasons Ginger is so Frickin’ Sweet…

        1. She speaks her mind

        You know when you’re standing in a line, and “that guy”, cuts in line? He knows exactly what he’s doing, and everybody is wishing that someone else would tell him that he needs to move on to the back of the line. Ginger is the type of person that doesn’t let “that guy” get away with it. She speaks her mind (in a tactful way, of course) and the rest of us thank her for it.

        2. She’s healthy and fit

        (even her kids are fit.)

        We Courts could learn a thing or two from Elliott and Ginger about living healthy. And you know it’s not Elliott leading the charge. Ginger makes sure her kids eat healthy and she has stayed trim even after all those babies.

        3. Natural childbirth (multiple times)

        Enough said.


        Not many people read my blog these days, including Ginger probably, so if you happen to read this post and you know Ginger, let her know that she’s famous.

        If you know one of my in-laws that you’d like to see highlighted in my next post, send me an email and I’ll tell you where you can take your suggestion.

        My new blog November 2, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.


        I think I’ve found a better type of blogging for me.  Its not really a blog, technically.  Its a tumblelog.  Wikipedia defines a tumblelog this way:

         A tumblelog is a variation of a blog, that favors short-form, mixed-media posts over the longer editorial posts frequently associated with blogging. Common post formats found on tumblelogs include links, photos, quotes, dialogues, and video. Unlike blogs, this format is frequently used to share the author’s creations, discoveries, or experiences without providing a commentary.

        It has no comments, no post titles, and no obligation from me to editorialize.  I think that is exactly what I need to post more.

        I’ll still keep this blog for that sort of thing, but if you’re at all interested in the pictures, videos, links, and quotes I find interesting, come see me at mikencheese.tumblr.com

        And start your own at tumblr.com


        Finally, no more smudges on my iPhone November 1, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.

        Someone is going to make a fortune.

        I think I would be in to Neal’s animals if they did this… September 29, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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        lounge lizard

        Link to the story of the lounging lizard.

        Hiring July 30, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.

        If you know anyone looking for a part-time or full-time office job, let me know.

        Duties would include answering phones, data entry, payroll, and general office work.

        To Know Mitt is to Like Mitt? June 6, 2007

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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        Watch the focus group results from last night’s debate.

        Walmart Bashing July 13, 2006

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.
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        I just read a great blog post about it here. Here’s a sample:

        But I also know that Wal-Mart bashing is an easy and satisfying sport: it feels so good to be so unanimously right about something so wrong. All the same, I can’t help it, I really need to say this: no matter how lofty their cause, it sets my teeth on their very last edge when these smug urban Wal-Mart bashers come down here conducting their self-congratulatory boycotts from the dizzying heights of their own blind privilege.

        It’s so easy to bash Walmart. “Everyone” knows that company is evil, so we can close our mind about the subject. But, at the same time, we can’t understand why people won’t be open-minded about subjects we care about, like our Church.

        One Man’s Trash March 8, 2006

        Posted by Mike N. Cheese in Uncategorized.

        While renovating our house, my wife and I have accumulated a lot of junk.  Old carpet, carpet pad, lumber with lots of nails in it, 70’s light fixtures, you get the picture.

        I don’t have a truck, so its difficult to get to the dump.  Then I had the idea–I wonder if someone else wants this junk?  I put it up on Craigslist, under the “free” section.

        Long story short, people love free stuff and I  fit the leftover junk in a normal garbage can.